| This year |
| All years |
2) You have to be against capital punishment, but for abortion on demand.
3) You have to believe that the same public school teacher who can't teach
4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
4) You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors
are overpaid.
5) You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.
6) You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the Sun, and more affected by SUVs.
7) You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is
natural.
8) You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
9) You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but animal
rights activists who've never been outside Seattle do.
10) You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.
11) You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.
12) You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
13) You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't
deliver the quality that PBS does.
14) You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it stands up for certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up
for certain parts of the Constitution.
15) You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.
16) You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria
Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson,
General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
17) You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.
18) You have to believe that second-hand smoke is more dangerous than
HIV.
19) You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady and Rosie
O'Donnell is not really a man.
20) You have to believe that conservatives are racists, but that black
people couldn't make it without your help.
21) You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked any
where it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.